Dear Diary...

Dear Diary,

I feel the strong feeling of grief. He's not here... The dock is the place I'm usually able to go to when I'm upset, but today it's not helping me. My mood was ruined at lunch today. I saw a person that looked like my twin brother. He's been gone for the past year, but I'm still upset about it. I know he would be mad at me because I'm sulking around. I can just hear his words... “Come on Jaylyn. You know I'm still here with you. In your heart. I'm still watching over you. You can't see me, but you can probably feel me around you sometimes.” Jason was such an amazing brother. We were of course raised together. Identical twins that grew up protecting each other, making sure the other one was being taken care of. Why couldn't it have been me that had to go? Why did he have to be in that wreck? He was such an innocent person! It's not fair! The only reminder of Jason that I have is the photos of us growing up that I keep hidden from everyone. I don't want people seeing my memories. I want them to stay with me. My most favorite picture of us is the time we both decided to sneak out, separately, to the cabin to stay the night. It had been an accident. I didn't know he was going to the cabin too, but when we both showed up at the same time, I thought I was in trouble because I thought it was one of my parents trying to stop me. I guess he thought the same thing because he came out of the bushes with his hands up in the air yelling “I'm sorry! I just wanted to stay out here tonight!” That's when I started laughing. I ran out from behind the trees and went straight to him. He pulled me into a hug and laughed with me. After we got our stuff unpacked into the cabin, we walked out to the dock and sat back to back and talked. Jason told me to turn and look at him. When I did, I was blinded by the flash of a camera. He laughed and held up the camera. “To remember the first night we both decided to sneak out, together but not together.” He had said as he laughed again. We calmed down for a little while, and I started to doze off. I could hear the sound of the waves, I could feel the wind from the waves blowing my long brown hair out of my face. Jason's hair was tickling the back of my neck. I hadn't noticed how long his hair had gotten. We both had brown hair and brown eyes. If I cut my hair like Jason's, I would confuse everyone.

Thinking about that memory, I lean back on my hands. The memory was the last one that was strong in my mind. As I'm leaning back right now, I can almost feel his back on mine. I can feel the tickle of his hair on my neck. I can feel the wind, and I can hear the waves. But very faintly, I can hear a whisper. One that's speaking to me.

I'll always be with you.....

Jaylyn